It was becoming apparent that someday I would be alone, and I had to face reality. There were necessary legal things that I had to do. One was redoing our entire estate plan. About a year after Ruth was diagnosed, we had our wills and trust redone, and even by that time, Ruth had immense difficulty signing her name.  It would take her minutes just to scratch something on paper. This was the time when I had to do something that is vital for anyone who has a spouse with Alzheimer’s: get a power of attorney for all legal matters and health matters. Any you must do this while your loved one is still able to sign his or her name on a piece of paper. I did this just in time. And yes, I have been required to present the power of attorney on many occasions.  If you and your spouse are co-owners of any assets-for example, your house, cars, or insurance policies- you will not be able to make any decision about them without both signatures unless you have a power of attorney. And the same goes for medical decision. Get powers of attorney for both legal and health matters as soon as you can.

Ruth was the co-executor of our estate, meaning if I were to die or have a stroke ad became incapacitated, then Ruth would oversee our estate. That had to change immediately. Thanks to a Desert Mission Adult Day Healthcare estate planning seminar, I got in touch with elder care attorneys Bivens & Associates of Scottsdale, who redid our entire plan and removed Ruth from any responsibility for family finances. I highly recommend Stephanie Bivens and her staff; I believe them to be the best at what they do.       

I then needed someone who would handle the liquidation of all family assets, a surviving executor, in the event that I should die or become incapacitated. Who do you trust to pay your bills, divide assets equally among your children, pay for a nursing home for your spouse, etc.? This took immense, tormenting thought on my part, and I finally settled on hiring a state-licensed fiduciary to be the surviving executor of our family trust. The fiduciary agents I hired are Childers & Coventry as recommended by Bivens & Associates.